Hot (or perhaps cold) on the tail of Saint comes another twisted Christmas horror movie, in the form of Finland’s Rare Exports, seeing a timely home viewing release after its successful cinema run a year ago.

As with many festive fear flicks, this is a treat for anyone who has a love/hate relationship with the yuletide season, and like Gremlins before it, the film manages to be both a feel good Christmas movie and a cynical comment on the season.

Set in the Finnish wilderness near the Russian border, the film opens with a group of scientists finding something (or some Thing, given the visual references) during in ice inside a mountain. Digging it out proves to be a bad idea, as the thing in question turns out to be Santa Claus – not the jolly red-faced gift bearer we all know, but a giant, Old Testament Santa who is more interested in punishing the naughty than rewarding the nice. Meanwhile, young Pietari (Onni Tommila) and his dad (Jorma Tommila) discover a naked, white-bearded old man caught in a wolf trap, and having finally decided that he is Santa, figure the best thing to do would be to sell him to the excavators, to compensate for the loss of their reindeer herd that was slaughtered by wolves – or perhaps something hungrier. But it soon turns out that they are mistaken in their identification of this character, as the mystery of how Santa can be in so many places at once is revealed and a small army of naked old men surround them…

Channelling 1980s kiddie horror / coming of age story – definitely more of the Joe Dante style than Spielberg, thank goodness – with a dark sense of humour and some startling visuals that might make this an eye-opener for any kids watching (not only the very naked old men, but also some animal carcass-chopping that provides the film’s only gore), Rare Exports proves to be a twisted delight. Fast paced, beautifully shot and both funny and creepy, the film is a wonderfully entertaining romp, with a final few minutes that are hilarious.

A deliciously warped antidote to all the festive saccharin that we’ll soon be drowning in, it both respects and subverts the ancient ideas of a less than jolly Santa, and has great fun doing so. It’s just the film you want to find amongst your gifts this Christmas!

DAVID FLINT

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