NINJA BATTLE
DVD. MVM.

If you like the sound of ninja movies but are put off by all the pesky fighting that takes place in them, then this is the film for you. Staggeringly misleadingly titled and packaged, Ninja Battle dispenses with the martial arts nonsense that has been putting fans off for years and instead gets down to what’s really important – lots and lots of dialogue, and taking place in one location without the benefit of cumbersome sound recording and lighting equipment. Why, it’s almost like ninja verite!

An opening text scroll fills in the background – the usual stuff about provincial tribes scrapping it out, betrayal and intrigue – and then takes us to a suspiciously familiar cave where three Iga ninjas come across the dead body of a colleague and a Koga ninja girl (Aiko Ito) tied up. As the interrogate the girl, assorted confusing flashbacks fill out the back story and a story of double crosses, sleeper agents and mistrust is revealed.

While this might sound potentially interesting stuff, the end results are pretty disappointing. Like Seiji Chiba’s previously reviewed Ninja Girl, this is a very low budget, shot on video affair, and while neither of those elements is the sign that a film is inferior, here they combine to produce a film that feels rather like a home movie. In that sense, it’s fairly inspirational – you too could trot off to a single location with a minimal cast and a domestic camcorder that shoots in letterboxed 4:3 and have your resulting film released! You don’t even need lights, though if you want the film to be less murky and hard to watch than this, I suggest you at least invest in a basic floodlight.

Given how dark this is, it’s perhaps a relief that there are no action scenes to try to enjoy. Instead, the film offers up a fairly relentless stream of dialogue from all the characters (who are, thankfully, played by decent actors at least), and unless you are really fascinated by ancient Japanese feudal clan politics, you’ll probably struggle to maintain an interest. Meanwhile, a droning music score manages to be both nondescript and annoying – which I suppose is some sort of achievement.

To be fair, this 2007 production - formerly known as Iga no Ran: Kosoku - was presumably never intended to be sold as an action flick. But even so, the sheer shoddiness of the whole thing is going to make it hard work for most viewers. Still, ninja films would seem to be critic-proof – just as there is clearly a ready audience in Japan for these 65 minute video productions, so there presumably is here too. If you’re such a fan, you can (and will ) disregard everything I’ve said. But I doubt this will convert any new fans to the cause.