British radio listeners should tune into Radio 5 at 9.30 on the evening of March 3rd to hear disgraced former Home Secretary (now unemployed and clearly looking for a media job) Jacqui Smith* host a documentary about the porn industry.

Of course, this isn't the first time Smith has made money out of porn. She had to resign during the expenses scandal of a year ago and although brought down for dodgy claims for housing expenses (not dissimilar to those that have recently seen some of her former colleagues imprisoned), it was a claim for two soft porn films – or more accurately, pay-per-view single night subscriptions to satellite porn channels – that her husband had bought while she was away that made the headlines. Smith, after all, was one of New Labour’s hardline feminist fanatics, partly responsible for the loathsome ‘Dangerous Pictures Act’ that has seen people imprisoned for merely possessing images of consenting adult performing (or faking) legal sex acts that are judged ‘extreme’. She also piloted through the new law that is enabling moralising councils to close down strip clubs and sex parties across the country.

The documentary – arguably more suited to television – sees Smith ‘investigating’ the sex industry, which she knew very little about for someone so happy to legislate against it. Among the people interviewed was David McGillivray, writer of films like House of Whipcord and Frightmare, author of definitive British sex film history Doing Rude Things and long-time anti-censorship campaigner.

"I can't wait to hear the programme”, he told Strange Things. “I'm on some list as a Pornography Historian and I get involved in quite a bit of stuff of this nature. But I have never before been interviewed by somebody who has never seen a porn film. I said to the producer that it was a bit like getting me to present a programme about brain surgery.“

Yes, readers – Smith had never even seen a porn film, yet somehow had enough knowledge of their evils to bring in laws to control them.

McGillivray continues: “However Jacqui came round to my house and I gave her coffee and Danish pastries. We then sat on my sofa and she interviewed me without notes very proficiently. In one of the breaks I told her she was a natural. I believe she's being trained up to be the next Michael Portillo and I think she'll be very good. She's an old school feminist and the concept of porn makes her angry. I told her that I hoped she'd keep an open mind. She went straight from my house to watch her first smut and in this week's Observer she talks about this experience."

Porn Again (ouch!) will be worth a listen, but don’t be surprised if I rant at length after it…

* Sorry, but I can't bring myself to publish a photo of such a ghastly person as Smith on this site. You'll have to put up with this image of Sasha Grey instead.