Firstly, it needs to be stated that there is a distinct lack of lesbianism here; idiocy in marketing strikes again. But it should also be stated that, should you purchase a clearly non-pornographic film with a primary reasoning to watch girls on girls, you deserve everything you get, or rather, don't get.

What you do get here is some terribly low-budget, yet strangely watchable—albeit for just the one viewing—nonsense. The plot in a nutshell, nothing larger required: Ar is a vampire warrior, whose best friend is one of said monsters, only she, and her vampiric, dysfunctional family, don't dine on human beings. Vampire lord Mung, however, likes to prey on his fellow bloodsuckers, and it's up to Ar to protect her friends, whilst also on the search for her long-lost sister, Sue, who may or may not have become victim to one such creature.

There's little blood or horror to be had here; Lesbian Vampire Warriors is more an action film than anything, driven by teenage angst. This could easily have been extremely dull viewing—nobody cares how bored young people are, or whether vampires can 'feel'—yet surprisingly the script is occasionally amusing; for instance, had you ever considered that older victims make for better eats, due to their higher blood pressure supplying stronger spurts? The props will also make you laugh, whether this is intentional or not.

The film's strongest point, and appropriately so, given its genre, is the fight scenes. The martial arts on show are very good to an untrained eye, whilst remaining on the right side of stylised. Thus, entertainment to be had, if courtesy of a rather silly film.

NAILA SCARGILL

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