Horror Planet? Oh dear. Most of you will know this better as Inseminoid, the final film from a remarkably prolific period for director Norman J. Warren, and made very much at the tail end of Britain’s much-missed exploitation film era.

A shameless rip-off / cash-in of Alien, Inseminoid is arguably a lot more entertaining than its big-budget inspiration thanks to a gleeful rude ‘n’ crude approach to the not exactly original idea. A group of scientists are mining the caves of an alien planet, and encounter all manner of difficulties – mysterious space crystals cause one crew member to go insane, while Sandy (Judy Geeson) is raped and impregnated by an alien creature in one of cinema’s sleaziest moments. This causes her to go rather mad herself, as she offs the rest of the crew to provide food for her alien offspring.

Although Inseminoid is sometimes rather slow moving, director Warren certainly packs a lot of action into the story, with some splattery gore and a few moments of tension. The space rape – complete with green alien semen pouring down a glass tube penis between Geeson’s legs (it’s no wonder in retrospect that she wasn’t too fond of the film) – remains a jaw-dropping moment of bad taste. Of course, the low budget results in some cheesy outfits, wobbly sets and questionable performances from some cast members, though old troupers like Stephanie Beacham lend a certain class to proceedings.

While not as essential as Warren’s horror films like Terror and Satan’s Slave, Inseminoid is still great fun. Sadly, this budget release from Cheezy Flicks, taken from an almost certainly copyright-defying source and pointlessly region-coded, doesn’t do the film justice, presenting it not only under the dumbass US title but also squeezed into 4:3 format. Given that other, better versions of the film exist, this edition is really a waste of time, even if it does feature the wonderfully offensive US one sheet art on the cover.

LES DE MONZE

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