most people I’ve lost count of the times I’ve sat
quietly at home thinking "what I really need is a small
plastic box that can be used to create the ear bleeding vibes
of a Throbbing Gristle concert circa 1983". Now, it
seems, my prayers have been answered. The Gristleizer is a low
budget version of the infamous Buddha Machine, used during live
gigs by the seminal industrial act to create random loops of
nightmarishly distorted sounds and headache inducing screeches.
Coming in deluxe packaging that instantly brings to mind the
puzzle in the Hellraiser films it has twelve
pre-set loops, all taken from Throbbing Gristle album tracks.
A built in pitch control is manipulated to make a series of
terrifying noises that will irritate your friends and family
within seconds of picking the unit up. This really is a thing
of some beauty, both utterly pointless and joyful at the same
time. Sadly it doesn’t come with any input to play the
unit through an amp, which may be of benefit to close neighbours,
but dramatically reduces the scope for marathon drunken sets
on return from the pub.