FISHNETS 7
DVD region 0. Zero Tolerance.

Given that I have a taste for such things, and the fact that this is volume 7 of a presumably successful series, Fishnets 7 should work. Sexy girls in fishnet stockings seems just the twist needed to make generic porn into something more interesting.
Now, admittedly, I haven’t seen volumes 1 through 6, which may well be the most scorchingly hot porn ever shot (but almost certainly won’t be). But in this volume, it all goes disastrously wrong.

The main problem would seem to be the very structure of the film. I’ll go out on a limb here, and possibly divulge too much personal information, but I suspect most people turned on by fishnet stockings want to see a girl starting off fully clothed and then slowly disrobing – and for her to keep the stocking on during sex! Not the case here, as director Mike Quasa has the starlets, including Audrey Bitoni. Devon Lee and Maya Gates, start out naked and then struggle – none too seductively – into their stockings. It really isn’t very sexy, to be honest, as any element of tease and seduction is lost.

But worse than this is the actual sex, which may well be the dullest I ever seen. Everything seems to take place in a stony silence, as if the two performers have just had a blazing row, and there’s no passion or heat – just a bunch of bored people going through the motions without even trying to look as though they are enjoying it. Short of checking their watches, they couldn’t look more bored.
Oh, and Audrey Bitoni has, without doubt, the worst implant scars I’ve ever seen – it looks like someone has taken a razor to her recently.

Avoid.

DAVID FLINT

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