CUMAHOLICS
DVD region 0. Combat Zone.

As you might have gathered from the title, Cumaholics makes no pretence at class – it’s crude, nasty, down ‘n’ dirty gonzo filth. Although female directed, this effort is every bit as squalid as its male-helmed equivalents – maybe even more so, since Melissa Lauren isn’t even slightly restrained by good taste. Those of you who think women only shoot soft-focus fluffy porn should think again!

The DVD is rammed with aggressively sexy starlets like Sativa Rose, Rebecca Linares and Missy Monroe demanding – and generally getting – an endless diet of semen. In fact, your enjoyment of this film may well depend on how much you like to see jizz, because that’s pretty much all this is about.

One step away from bukkake, the movie is splattered with lengthy scenes of cum-swapping (a couple of girls – Jayna Oso and Annette Schwarz – drop the increasingly slimy and gross-looking fluid into each others mouths several times, to the point where I felt myself reaching for the fast-forward button in order to avoid heaving), spunk-gargling and semen splashing, as well as aggressive fucking, ass-to-mouth action and the now traditional gaping annals.

This is certainly not couples-friendly porn (well, I suppose some couples might go for it), but Lauren directs with a certain panache and knows how to deliver hot action and plenty of teasing build-up too. Make no mistake – this is as grubby a porn film as you are likely to see. If that thought excites you, then by all means check it out.

DAVID FLINT

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