GEEKS, NERDS, FAKERS, SOCIOPATHS AND STARFUCKERS
IN THE HORROR MOVIE WORLD

A couple of days ago, my attention was drawn to this YouTube video.



I'm reluctant to ask you to click on that, because it's one of the most annoying things you'll ever see. But if you have ten minutes and a few brain cells to spare, please do. You'll probably need to take a couple of aspirin and lie down for a while afterwards, but that's okay – we'll wait, and it'll help contextualise what's to come.

The woman in the video (who I won't name, because I bet she Google's herself all the time and why boost her already giant ego?) has a beef with male horror fans. Sorry, horror geeks. Or nerds. You know, the labels we're all supposed to attach to ourselves now. More to the point, she's oh-so-tired with being outed as accused of being 'fake'. And so, she extrapolates her (perceived) experience to include all men (let's not be fooled by her disclaimers) and all women. Because we're not individuals, we're homogenous groups defined by our genitals.

But let's analyse her video argument. We might question why she's shot it in portrait format rather than video standard 16:9 (I don't use an iPhone, but I'm pretty sure you can shoot landscape on them) – a cynic might say it's to ensure she gets her cleavage in shot, but that would just be sexist and possibly even untrue. Let's leave aside her technical incompetence and get to the meat and potatoes. Here we have what could the most soul-crushing ten minutes of video viewing you'll ever sit through, with an immediately annoying, continually condescending, self-satisfied and egocentric woman shouting her opinions and her demands that we all listen to her pearls of wisdom.

The gist of her argument is that men in horror 'treat women like crap' and that this all ties in with the non-controversy about 'fake geeks'. Now, a sensible person might say that yes, there are fake geeks, and they tend to be the sort of people who use that word to describe themselves - seriously, who the fuck, especially in the horror scene, would deliberately refer to themselves as a geek or a nerd?. These 'fakers' are the ones who buy into a pre-ordained set of likes and dislikes that 'we' are supposed to have – a clichéd set of interests that includes Star Wars, Star Trek, Lord of the Rings, cosplay, video games, comic books and whatever else people can pick up from a couple of episodes of The Big Bang Theory, a trip to Comic Con and a few pages of Topless Robot. What's the betting that our ranty woman is into all that (except The Big Bang Theory, which of course self-proclaimed real geeks have to hate, apparently).

Now, here's the thing – like everyone else I know, I have my own likes and dislikes. Personally, I hate Star Wars and the Lord of the Rings films. Conversely, I like plenty of things that frankly baffle most people I know. I do, however, do regular person things – you know, go to the pub, listen to music, hang out with people who have no interest in genre movies, etc. My taste in movies etc does not dominate my every waking moment. I am, in other words, an individual, just like all the other horror fans I know. If you self-identify as a geek or a nerd, then it strikes me that you are somehow buying into a set of rules that suggest you are trying too hard – in other words, faking it - and are accepting the idiotic rules and regulations of that scene. That suggests you have to follow those 'rules' to be a part of 'the scene'. So don't complain that people don't take you seriously if you wear pink at conventions. You'd get the same reaction if you wore pink at a metal club, or dressed like a goth at a chav bar. If you are determined to be part of a 'scene' or a social group, then you should follow the rules of that group – unless you are trying to draw attention to yourself, and that couldn't possibly be the case, could it? Alternatively, just fucking be yourself and ignore the criticism that you – or any man – will get from idiots for bucking the cultural styles.

And here's an idea – don't fuckin' mention the fact that you are a 'beauty queen' because (a) it's not relevant to horror fandom and (b) it invites people to make a judgement on a superficial, physical level – because isn't that what beauty pageants are about? You tell me that and of course I'll assume you are an attention-hungry, rather vacuous person because that's what I think people who parade up and down catwalks to be judged on their appearance are. It's not an argument you will come out of well.

But then, this whole video screams 'look at me, LOOK AT ME!'. What with her claims of vast and superior horror knowledge (Dario Argento? Ohh, edgy choice! Sorry, but I somehow doubt you'd triumph at the Mayhem horror quiz...) and her claim to somehow speak for all women, this is just ego mania run rampant. And defensive as hell. Men, of course, don't know that sexism exists at horror events because our eyes and ears are covered by our penises and we are so brutish and so unaware that we wouldn't recognise it if it was right in front of us – hell, we're all probably engaged in it. So, I decided to ask some female friends (because yes, I actually value their opinions). Guess what? No one agreed with Ms Ranty. Lucy Morrow, who I'm fairly sure has been attending horror events a lot longer than Ranty, commented, when asked if she'd encountered sexism and condescension, “no, not at all... in my experience I think the men who go to horror fests wouldn't be the type to generally treat women like that. The open minded types, y'know?”

Of course, my survey of a handful of women is, admittedly, at BBFC levels of opinion polling, but still, I suspect, more valid that the shouty beliefs of someone who is clearly desperate to be famous. Of course, I'm in the UK. Maybe US horror events are full of knuckle-dragging neanderthals. Given the bro culture of a lot of modern US horror, that's not beyond the realms of possibility, admittedly. Or maybe, just maybe, those are the sort of men she chooses to hang out with. Being dissed for being female and having an opinion? No, it doesn't 'happen all the time'. It fucking doesn't. And if it you get howled down when discussing the semiotics of Suspiria or whatever, it's probably not because you are a woman - it's probably because you are incredibly annoying and really don't know very much about horror films. Or perhaps because you hang out with the sort of dumbass jocks who write online death threats against directors who dare to remake old movies, possibly while spilling Bud down their Megadeth t-shirt and shouting fist-pumping chants of 'USA! USA!' (and you see? We can all crudely stereotype people if we want to). That's nothing to do with the horror scene and everything to do with poor taste in friends and a need for the sort of superficial attention you'll get from those people by having breasts. The same sort of superficial attention you might get as, say, a beauty contestant...

And you know what? If you think that only women get abused and criticised for having opinions that other fanboys disagree with, I suggest you check out this thing called 'the internet'. Go on some forums and check out Reddit – it'll be an eye opener for you. It's full of idiots who will scream abuse at you for disagreeing with them, and they don't care if you are male, female or any point in between. Of course, it's better to believe that your opinion of Texas Chainsaw 3D is being ripped into not because people violently disagree with it, or because you've expressed it in a bumbling, incoherent way, but because you are a woman. That way, it's not your fault. It's those awful men trying to shut your insightful opinions down. But here's the uncomfortable truth – no one is beyond criticism, especially if they are expressing an opinion, controversial or otherwise, in a public platform. Not you, not me, and certainly not anyone who believes in equality. You don't want to be treated differently because you are a woman? That's great. But that means you accept criticism – even if you think the person giving it is a complete and utter fuckwit – without falling back on the gender defence.

But let's get down to the central part of her rant. She claims that men assume that 'girls into geek culture are somehow faking it or doing it for attention'. Well, no. Even the biggest detractors of 'fake geeks' are not saying it's all girls... not even most girls. Just some of them. Guess what? It's some guys too. A lot of guys, in fact. The so-called geek culture has achieved a certain cool cache of late, and so there will inevitably be bandwagon climbers. That's no bad thing in itself. I'd rather people convince themselves that they are into horror movies, or even rubbish science fiction franchises, than pretend to like football or the Olympics or X-Factor or whatever else people are told they should enjoy – and enough of them will find a genuine, previously hidden appreciation for such things to stay the course.

So no, that's not the problem for most of us (apart from the aforementioned dicks who see the expanding popularity of something they like as somehow personally threatening).The problem is the opportunists and the backstabbers who see a career opportunity and will climb over anyone, stabbing their mother in the back in the process, just to get on the next rung of the ladder. The dead-eyed, bloody-minded obsessive fame junkies who have an astonishing degree of entitlement and a self-belief that means that any criticism that comes their way must be because of of some sort of bigotry – because the idea that their work and their opinions might simply be considered somehow less than brilliant by anyone is entirely beyond their comprehension. That these people also frequently have a very superficial and artificial love of the genre is just an unfortunate coincidence, though it does explain why they might squeal so loudly when found out.

I've been a part of the horror scene as a writer for over 25 years now – longer than that as a fan. So I've seen this a lot. Horror fandom has, for whatever reason, always attracted social climbers, ruthless careerists and self-absorbed fame junkies who see more opportunities to become a big fish in the small pond of horror culture than in the giant ocean of the mainstream media. It can be minor. Back in the late 1980s, a novelist appeared from nowhere and successfully schmoozed the whole fan scene, being interviewed by all the fanzines, appearing at festivals and generally being omnipresent. Once his career became established of course, the free books stopped coming and he vanished as quickly as he'd appeared. He didn't need the small press fan boys anymore. And that's fine – no one was hurt, and everyone got something out of it.

Then, we have the sociopaths who have a ruthless desire for fame and / or success. They are the ones who will screw anyone (in either sense of the word) to get where they want to be, and will not only climb that ladder but then do their best to pull it up after them. They are not unique to horror fandom of course – but the genre does seem to attract its fair share of them. There are too many people with rampant egos and a cold-eyed ambition who would stab their own mother in the back to get where they need to be (and yes, we all have egos – every writer does so because they think they have something worth reading. But we don't all crap on people from a great height and adopt a superior attitude when we achieve any degree of success).

These sociopathic careerists come in all genders, all races, all ages. But when they start to form themselves into specific groups to try to deflect criticism of anything they say or do, like our ranter, then it becomes even more questionable.

Now, I have to tread carefully here, because there will be plenty of people who will want to twist my words and dismiss my entire argument as misogynistic – the easiest way to shut down debate. So let me make this very clear: I have, over the decades, worked with a lot of women in the horror movement who I admire very much. They are among the best writers... the best people...I know. I've long argued that the genre needs more female voices. I'm a great supporter of women in horror. My problem is when people like the woman in the video clip use their gender to claim that they are somehow marginalised, victimised or otherwise mistreated by the horror mainstream. The fact that a lot of them are doing this from a position of media success and privilege is an irony they don't get. It's not unique to horror, naturally – just last week, we saw it with newspaper hack columnists, who seem oblivious to the fact that they are bemoaning their marginalised place in society while writing well paid columns in the pages of major newspapers (and taking petty and bigoted pot shots at minority groups while doing so) – an opportunity not available to most, male or female. In fact, it's entirely possible now to build a successful and lucrative career based on complaining about not being given opportunities because of your oppressed status. And it's stupid, because we can all play that game. I could argue that someone who grew up in a working class family and who doesn't live in London that I am victimised by a Metropolitan middle class elite. I'm sure that you too, dear reader, could find some victim status to hang your hat on if you tried hard enough. It becomes a ridiculous spiral one oneupmanship.My oppression is more significant that your oppression.

And worse still are the people who will make these complaints while at the same time ruthlessly exploiting their physical attributes and the sexual urges of a fan scene that is still overwhelmingly male. Because that's the other problem – genuinely talented women in the horror scene are often really failing to have the success the deserve because they are not cynically playing the game. You know, when someone is hailed as a horror movie expert on the basis of getting her tits out in low budget movies, it is an insult to the women who have striven to make a name for themselves through their writing and their genuine love for and knowledge of the genre*. When someone gets ahead through flirting with (or actually fucking) journalists, film makers or whoever else is potentially helpful to them in the short or long term, then that's a slap in the face for the women (and men) who are working hard at developing their craft. And when someone builds a following of gushing fan boys who fawn over their every cleavage-enhanced, pouty Facebook photo – while also complaining about the sexist nature of the business – then that is like a big 'fuck you' to those women who refuse to exploit their gender to further their career - or to use it as an excuse if they haven't achieved their goals. Everyone – men and women – should be appalled by this sort of thing.

Of course, I'll be dismissed as a sexist male oppressor for saying all this. So let's ask a woman with firsthand experience of how the professionally oppressed work to shut down dissent. You see, Ms Ranty, it's not just men who will treat women badly if they offer an unpopular opinion. Keri O'Shea, writer for Brutal as Hell and other genre websites, commented:

“I was originally a member of the (Women in Horror) Facebook group when it started (not really knowing what it was) but left after an incident where a woman, having attended a convention, posted an anonymous Youtube video (filming her body but not her face - how sexist!) where she accused a man of sexually harrassing her. (It sounded actually like he'd drunkenly tried to chat her up. Boo hoo.) She, or someone she knew, then posted his full name and address in the comments below. Sensing a witch hunt, I said what I thought - that this was completely unjustifiable. This heralded the first and only issue I have had with 'the horror community'. Everyone agreed that what this woman had done was an empowering thing to do. Several members of the 'Women in Horror community' said that my opinion was invalid because I had never been raped! The irony of a so-called Women in Horror group attacking a female horror writer because she disagreed with an illegal act is quite something, don't you think? But that's what these people are like. They're all about promoting themselves and their little approved group of 'oppressed' females, and aren't quite so pro-woman when any woman fails to tow the party line.”

And so we come, inevitably, to the Soska Sisters. Sorry, but we can't avoid it. As I write, the twins are on a UK tour that has reduced the horror contingent of Twitter to the level of screaming teenyboppers at a One Direction concert. Now, I'm not presonally a fan of their work – Dead Hooker in a Trunk was so dreadful I gave up midway through, and I thought American Mary was just awful. But even some admirers of the latter seem appalled by the levels of adulation heaped on the directors, which has seen fan boys queuing round the block to meet them, the pair plastered across the front covers of genre magazines (something Ben Wheatley has yet to do, funnily enough) and the sort of gushing adulation from web hacks that you normally only find in monarchists at a royal wedding. Of course, the Soskas might not be entirely responsible for the frankly embarrassing way some hacks have fawned over then, but they have played the game extremely well, using the fact that they are women to full advantage. When you appear on stage at FrightFest in rubber dresses, hug everyone who you meet and flirt intensely, then guess what? Your film gets great reviews, even from people who initially didn't care for it – because people always struggle to separate the art from the artist - and you become 'the new face of horror' (well done, Guardian). You also put the cause of women being taken seriously in the genre back by a couple of decades, but no matter. That's other women.

Now, here's the thing. If you are a woman in horror, the relentless and – in its own way – very sexist drooling over the Soskas really should offend you. It should offend them. If it doesn't, then that's fine, but you can't really then complain about not being treated equally by the men in the genre. That double standard won't fly. Equality means being judged on the quality of your work alone. It doesn't mean being able to flatter the ego of a middle-aged magazine writer or promoter, it doesn't mean wearing sexy outfits or posing semi-nude for glossy photshoots to accompany your column in Gorezone, or whatever is the modern successor**, and it doesn't mean assuming that every critical judgement of your work or your opinions is gender based. Brothers and sisters, boys and girls - let's strive for real equality in the genre, and let's leave the sexual-politics-as-career-ladder fakery to the less cool people. We're better than that. And God knows, horror fans have enough enemies as it is without so-called geeks joining in the stereotyping.

* It goes without saying that I have no moral objection to anyone who takes their clothes off for a living. Quite the opposite. But doing so does not make you a genre expert.

** Unless you are a performer, obviously. And even then, don't chase the Scream Queen crown and then subsequently complain about being viewed as a sex object.