superhero extravaganza from director Axel Braun is, as ever, ambitious
stuff – a multi-character epic that riffs equally on the
existing Marvel movie franchises and the comic books that spawned
them. How successfully it does so will depend very much on how
you approach the film.
I won’t repeat my criticisms from The
Dark Knight XXX, other than to say that the same
problem arises here, only more so – there are simply too
many characters and too many couplings to get through for the
film to develop and sense of direction. The plot is simple enough
– Nick Fury (Lexington Steele) gathers together a selection
of Earth’s Mightiest Heroes to try to capture The Hulk.
This group – Iron Man (Dale Dabone), Thor (Brendon Miller),
Hawkeye (Eric Masterton), Spider-Man
(Xander Corvus). Black Widow (Brooklyn Lee), Scarlet Witch (Danni
Cole), Spider Woman (Jenna Presley, Ms Marvel (Lexi Swallow) and
She Hulk (Chyna – of course…) bicker, jockey for position
and, inevitably, settle differences through the time-honoured
method of vigorous sex, before heading off to track down the frozen
body of Captain America, leaving the film open-ended enough to
justify a second volume. Oh, and Iron Man actually does get round
to fighting The Hulk (Jordan Lane) briefly. Good to see someone
remembered what the mission was.
this entire plot has to be squeezed into a mere 16 minutes of
narrative, the rest of the film taken up with sex scenes. And
that’s not really very long to allow any of the characters
to really develop. In fact, other than a couple of round-table
discussions, there’s little multi-character interaction.
So the only way to really enjoy this is to look at this is as
a series of individual vignettes featuring your favourite heroes.
So if, for example, you’d ever fantasised about a steamy
lesbian hook-up between Ms Marvel and Scarlet Witch (of course,
I can’t imagine any of you ever have…) then
this is probably going to tick several boxes for you – and
Ms Marvel also has the sort of team-up with Spidey that you won’t
find in the comics.. And if you are the sort of weirdo who dreams
of a hook-up between Thor and She-Hulk, then you’ll be very
happy here. But it’s notable that with so many characters,
not everyone gets into the action – Spider Woman stays chaste
(until you watch the bonus scene where she gets it on with Thor,
this time played by Evan Stone, is an alternate version of the
She Hulk scene), as does Iron Man.
And if you do take this simple as an unconnected series of scenes,
then it works. There’s no faulting the costumes –
absolutely as good as any of the mainstream versions of these
characters, and both Steele and Miller are rather excellent in
their roles, looking and feeling authentic. Danni Cole as Scarlet
Witch seems a little too much of an airhead (though she is very
cute) and Lexi Swallow isn’t really how I pictured Ms Marvel
– though I’ll admit that I’ve probably spent
more time pondering the idea of a Ms Marvel movie than most people,
having grown up with her as my favourite Marvel character. And
at least this film, unlike its mainstream inspiration, has several
female superheroes involved. Okay, they are just there to have
sex, but still – it’s a step up.
So, narratively a disaster, Avengers XXX nevertheless
works anyway as an entertainingly grubby bit of fan fiction. If
you were interested in the idea of this to begin with, it is unlikely
to disappoint too much.
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